Greg Santos

Honey, the Appliances Are Singing Again

The boom box doesn’t like it when the others talk behind its back. It often sits alone, mumbling and stuttering to itself. We’ll have to keep an eye on it; I think it’s plotting something.

The VCR in the basement coughs up dust and reminisces about the old days. Occasionally it repeats itself, especially when it brings up the Robot Revolution of ’59 but we’re all too polite to change the subject when it comes up.

Fanatical robots have been zealously attempting to convert the printer, bombarding it with pamphlets, junk mail, even phone calls. The printer has been handling the stress pretty well but I don’t know if its defenses have been worn down too much. When we came home from shopping the other day, I could see it peeking out from behind our blinds and staring at the Robot Sentience Temple across the street for a good 5 minutes. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried.

My answering machine has been acting up lately when taking phone calls while I’m away. We’re going to have a serious talk about what is and isn’t appropriate to say when clients call the house.

Movie night Tuesdays are always a big hit with the appliances. They adore the Back to the Future trilogy and, of course, Blade Runner. But surprisingly their favorite movie of all times is The Little Mermaid. They all get eerily quiet when Ariel sings “Part of Your World.”


Greg Santos is the author of the e-book Thinking Things Through (Pangur Ban Party, 2009). His writing has appeared or is forthcoming in publications such as McSweeney's, The Best American Poetry Blog, Six Sentences, Nthposition, The Brandi Wells Review, Word Riot, This Zine Will Change Your Life, and The Feathertale Review. He is the poetry editor of pax americana. He blogs at